


No Fixing Required

by DarkerThanDisney (Kairyn)



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Gen, Good Parent Villains, Not so Heroic Heroes, The Isle is Poor but Not Horrible, United States of Auradon (Disney) Is Not Perfect, Villains to Heroes, We'll Fix Ourselves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-10-18 01:15:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17571530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairyn/pseuds/DarkerThanDisney
Summary: What if....The Villains on the Isle weren't so bad. And in fact, they've been managing not so awfully, no thanks to Auradon. They're poor and always hungry but hey, they actually pulled a sort of functioning society together without any help. And now the heroes want to go and butt in? Well, no thanks... but that wand... they could use that wand still.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo, I was working on the next chapter of In the Rough and listing to the musical Twisted by Team Starkid in the background. (I suggest you all go and watch that if you haven't before it's basically Wicked but based around Jafar with a lot of Disney in-jokes and stuff. The full thing is on Youtube but be aware they do use some vulgar language if that offends you) and the Title song of Twisted came on and I went... what if these villains were the versions that were on the Isle... huh... so this was born. No idea how often this one will update as I was so not going to start a new story but... well, it's a new twist and I like new twists.

"So, we have to go to Auradumb and get a wand," Jay said where he was laying back on Mal's bed. They had just had an absolutely _wonderful_ meeting with their parents. Someone in Auradon had apparently decided to grow half a backbone and invited them to come to their school (read: ordered, because Auradonians always ordered rather than asked). At least Mal's mom had come up with some benefit to going aside from maybe getting some decent food for once.

"Apparently so," Mal said with a huff. "So stupid."

"Well, it would be nice to not have a barrier locking us on the island anymore," Evie mused as she eyed her makeup critically in her brand new hand sized magic mirror.

"Yeah, I guess," Jay grumbled. "Don't really want to go to Auradumb though."

The others nodded in agreement. Auradon, the land of delusional dreamers who are pretty, stupid, didn't work at anything, and just got too damn lucky. Carlos was sitting at the window and wincing slightly as he watched and listened to his mother ranting down on the street beside her car. "I don't think I'll mind..." he muttered.

"Ignore her. Mom said she can't come back in," Mal assured Carlos. Once they'd gotten Cruella's signature on the proper forms or whatever the Auradonians were insisting on to make it seem like this thing was really a choice, Maleficent had promptly kicked the loon out of Bargain Castle.

"Thank goodness for that," Carlos said with a shiver.

Mal hummed and went over to close her curtains to block out Cruella. "Come on, you need to pack still," she said with a gesture to the battered old red case that was sitting on her bed beside Evie. "Go grab some things."

Carlos sighed but went down the hall to the other small and drafty bedroom that Maleficent was currently putting him up in to grab some things. Once it became clear to the other so-called Villains on the Isle that Cruella was _not_ in any way stable enough to care for a kid they'd agreed Carlos shouldn't stay there. Cruella would come looking for him periodically saying she was better, but they'd learned that was never the case. So they moved Carlos around frequently to other houses of only the villains strong enough to make Cruella think twice. Currently, it was Maleficent's turn. Two weeks ago Jafar and Jay had managed to squeeze some room for the boy into the shop they lived in. Before that had been Yzma and before that Evie and her mom. It was a merry-go-round, but at least Carlos wasn't being hurt. A few other kids had the same situation set up for them as well. An entire Villain version of CPS. Frollo was in charge of making sure the children were hidden away from their parents if ever it became necessary as he had the most practice with that and _nobody_ could make Frollo talk outside of a confessional. It might have been flawed as crap system depending solely on people who often broke their word and were selfish, and if a parent really got nasty the resulting fights always ended badly, but it wasn't as if they could do much else.

The other Villains had even tried to get people like Cruella help (admittedly because having insane people living right next door made their own lives more difficult, but that wasn't the point). Some of the Villains were actually very scholarly types and had taken up a bizarre pseudo therapy business, but without the accompanying medications, there was only so much that did. Leaving the legitimately disturbed with no help whatsoever, however, was a far worse option. Some Villains had even gotten a little better through talking things out with others. Such as Gaston who found somewhat healthier methods of dealing with his frustrations than killing things.

"So, you think this is going to be as annoying as I feel it is?" Jay asked as he pushed himself up on his elbows. "I mean... they're probably going to try and 'reform' us or some stupid shit."

"Probably," Mal said. "But once we get the wand everything will work out."

"Are you sure?" Evie asked as she let her mirror fall out of her eyesight. "I mean... everyone in Auradon will just try to lock us all up again."

Mal frowned but then nodded. "Probably, but they won't be able to without Fairy Godmother's wand. I mean, I doubt they even know how magic works aside from wishing really hard and hoping it all comes true," she said with a scoff.

Carlos came back into the room then with several sets of clothes bundled in his arms, which he dropped in his open case. "... you don't think we'll run into dogs on Auradon, do you?" he asked nervously.

"Don't worry, 'Los," Jay said as he caught the smaller boy around the neck with his arm. "Even if we do run into dogs, we've got your back."

"But what if they rip your throats out?" Carlos nearly squealed in panic.

"Well... I guess we'll just not let that happen," Jay answered casually. Carlos just stared as if the thief was entirely insane. "Anyway, when's this car or whatever supposed to get here?" Jay asked Mal.

"No idea," Mal answered. "Whenever they feel like it, I guess."

Evie hummed as she put her mirror into her pocket. "Who do you think is behind this 'invitation' anyway?" she asked.

"They're supposed to be getting a new king here soon, so I guess him," Mal said. "Poor sap. I wouldn't want to rule Auradon." The others muttered their own agreement as Carlos fought to fasten his case shut. The thing was broken twice over, and it took a lot of effort to actually make it so that the lid didn't pop open at any point.

There was a knock on the door, and the four kids looked over to see Jafar standing there with Iago perched on his shoulder. "The car's crossed the barrier. You best make a last check to make sure you all have everything."

"Sure thing, pops," Jay said as he practically sprung off of Mal's bed.

By the time they had made one last sweep to ensure they had everything that they might need for a long trip and a heist, the car had arrived outside of Bargain Castle. It was attracting quite the crowd of people staring since the only other vehicle on the isle was Cruella's and this definitely wasn't that one.

As the kids came down the Evil Queen, Maleficent, and Jafar were all there. "You four look after each other," Jafar said.

"Yes, Auradonians will look to break you apart and then mold you into what they want," EQ said before fixing an out of place blue strand on Evie's head. "They don't understand what true perfection is," she added with all the regal power of the title that she refused to drop. She would always be a Queen, no matter what the Auradonian law said.

"They'll be watching you closely," Maleficent warned. "So don't make a move until you're sure that it'll be safe. Rushing a plan is often that plan's downfall."

"We understand, Mother," Mal said with a half smile. "We'll be careful."

Jay flashed a smile of his own. "It'll be a cakewalk."

"Don't be overconfident, either," Jafar warned his son.

"Really, we'll be fine," Mal insisted. "We'll get the wand and be back before you know it."

Maleficent studied Mal for a moment before nodding and giving the girl a quick kiss on the forehead. "Good. Now go on. Make us proud."

The four kids agreed and clambered into the long black car that had pulled up. They looked at each other uneasily as the vehicle started moving. Though they had tried to be as confident as possible, the idea of going to Auradon was unsettling. Mal reached over and took the hands of Evie and Carlos. Jay put his own into the pile as well. "We'll be fine as long as we keep together and remember what's important," Mal murmured. "We can do this."


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm Audrey, his girlfriend," Mal said in a air-headed mocking voice before throwing a blade at the picture of Audrey hanging on the wall. The blade -half of a pair of scissors- sunk right into Audrey's flawless cheek. Mal scoffed and flipped another knife in her hand. "Like being the daughter of someone who's claim to fame is just sleeping for a whole bunch of time is something to be proud of. I mean really!"

The sharpened piece of metal sunk into the picture with a dull thunk. Jay, Carlos, and Evie exchanged a look as Mal continued to mutter darkly and toss weapons at Audrey's face. Carlos held up a fist questioningly. The other two put out their own and after three short jerks threw out different hand signs. Carlos and Evie both threw out their hands flat and Jay kept his in a fist. Jay scowled at his own choice and then sighed before turning to Mal, who was oblivious to the silent game behind her.

Jay rolled his shoulders and rocked his head back and forth to loosen the muscles of his neck before going up behind Mal. Jay caught her hand before she threw a new pocket knife at the wall. "Easy there, Fairy-Fire," Jay said as he cautiously wrapped his other arm around Mal's waist and pulled her back against his chest. "You're getting all worked up over someone not even worth it."

Mal continued to scowl but allowed Jay to gently pry the weapon from her hand. "Like my mother was actually upset about a christening of all things? Like really? How petty do they think we are?"

"It doesn't matter what they think," Jay said. He held the knife back over his shoulder for the other two Isle Kids now that Mal had given it up. "But they'll find out what we're really like once we get the wand and take down that stupid barrier."

"Audrey's stupid grandfather is the reason why Aurora got cursed, but yeah, blame my mom! Like King Stephan was innocent or something!" Mal hissed, her eyes glowing green.

"We know, Mal," Jay said. "Everyone on the Isle knows what happened. Just like everyone knows how my dad got royally screwed over and Evie's mom got betrayed by Snowy McCan't-Shut-Up."

Evie nodded in agreement. "Everyone who is important knows already. Getting so worked up about these people in Auradon will only make you sloppy later on."

"People like her are what drive people like us to curse others," Mal said.

"Just ignore her," Evie said as she came over to take the knife and tucked it into her belt. Then she put one hand to Mal's arm while her other threaded through Mal's fingers. "We just have to put up with it for a little while. Then we can take all of her fancy clothes and make-up away and find something deliciously ironic to make her do."

Mal smirked a little. "You say the sweetest things, E."

Carlos walked past the others to go pry the blades out of Audrey's picture. "Where did you even get this picture, Mal?" Carlos asked as he pushed a splinter back into place where a dagger had dug it out of the wall. Hopefully nobody would notice until long after they were gone that Mal had decided to go all target practice on things. The goodie goodies here probably wouldn't approve.

"She had like fifty of them hanging all over her room. And I thought the Gastons were vain," Mal said with a huff.

"They're glamour shots," Evie said. "Each one was different right?"

"A little, I guess," Mal said as she leaned back against Jay even more.

"Mom used things like that to make sure she could get her hair and make-up as close to what she wanted as possible. Sort of a guide to follow," Evie explained.

Mal grunted. "Still seems stupid."

"Who cares about Audrey," Jay said. "Lookie what I've got for us." Jay reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a couple phones. "Amazing what people leave laying around, huh?"

Carlos reached out and took one of the two thin phone from the thief and started playing with it. "I'll have to hack into it. You got four?"

"I've got like ten," Jay replied. "Plus there's so much more out there I just have to go take it."

Carlos grabbed the other phone. "Then I'll start working."

"Thank you, Carlos," Mal said. She pulled away from Jay to go and sprawl out on the nearest bed. "Does anyone else have a headache from just how damn bright it is here?"

The others agreed. "It's amazing how different everything looks when the sky isn't cloudy," Evie said as she went to the window nearest Mal and pulled it closed. "Even your hair looks brighter, Mal. It's nice."

Mal lifted her head. "It's not supposed to look nice."

"Well, it does. The purple really stands out so much nicer in the sun," Evie said.

"Thanks, Princess," Mal said with little enthusiasm before dropping her head again.

"You think they'll be watching us?" Carlos asked as he continued to hack the first phone.

Jay tossed a few more stolen phones onto the bed beside where Carlos was working. "I would be if I were them. It'd be the smart thing to do at least," Jay said.

"Yeah, but Auradonians aren't smart," Carlos muttered.

Mal snorted. "Truer words have never been said," she said. "How much of that stuff in the car did you and Jay go through?"

"What does that have to do with how stupid Auradon is?" Jay asked as he pulled the last phone out of his vest and dropped it in the pile of others.

"Because it's pretty stupid to put a whole bunch of free food in front of you two," Mal said.

"Ha ha," Jay said as he knocked his fist into her boot. "You're so clever."

"Glad you appreciate it."

Evie pulled the picture of Audrey down off the wall. "We probably shouldn't leave this out. Give people the wrong impression if we're trying to keep a low profile."

"Spoil all my fun," Mal complained as she propped herself up on her elbows again. "But, I suppose I can just go back to my plotting..."

"Are you going to be more subtle this time?" Jay asked. "I was just waiting for someone to ask why you kept bringing up that stupid wand."

Mal lightly kicked Jay in the side. "You try working 'wand' into ordinary conversation, Jay."

"No thanks, I'll just stick to the stealing part."

"Here, Mal," Carlos said handing the first hacked phone to their leader. "If Jay can find me a good laptop I can start researching where they might have the wand stashed away."

Evie tossed the crumpled up photo of Audrey at Carlos' head. The paper bounced off. "Are you forgetting I have a magic mirror?" she asked with a huff. "That's the whole reason that Mom gave it to me, after all."

"Well, then use it, gorgeous," Jay said.

Evie dug into her purse and pulled out her mirror. "Not a problem." She held up her brand new mirror in front of her and cleared her throat. "Magic mirror on the- in my hand. Show me Fairy Godmother's wand... stand." The surface of the mirror shimmered like liquid before an image of an ornate white wand floating in a shaft of light appeared.

After a little finagling with the mirror, they were able to see the sign at the front of the building telling them that the wand was in something called a 'museum,' which none of the Isle Kids had ever heard of before. "Do we know where that is?" Mal asked.

"I can find out if Jay gets me that laptop," Carlos said, looking directly at the taller boy.

Jay flashed a smile. "Coming right up, babe," he said. "Be right back."

"Be careful," Mal said.

Jay made a show of looking hurt and putting a hand to his chest. "Why, Mal, I would think you had no faith in me. That is hurtful."

"You'll get over it," Mal said with a smirk. Jay flashed a smile before hurrying silently out of the room.


End file.
